and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
