i wish my penis had a tongue
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
