I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
