Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
