Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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