i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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