Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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