sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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