I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He did a backflip because drugs
we should paint friendship bongs
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
