I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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