You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We got so high we made milksteak
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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