I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Randomize
