btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
