he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize