Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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