Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
