I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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