$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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