he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
