in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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