okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
