the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
