Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
