I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
