i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
