He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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