I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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