The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
