is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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