There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
