i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
