I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
