dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
