remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
