even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
