i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
