And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
