I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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