Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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