Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
