just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
