smell my finger.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
