And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
