Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
