He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
