Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
