his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
