the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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