I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize