Well apparently he's into motor boating.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Randomize
