Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
