Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
