Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
