You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
