kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
