Don't you send me to vm
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
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