Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
