im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
