That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
