2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
