Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize