I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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