This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
there's paper in my vomit.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
