the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
