break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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