we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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