i don't like sucking hair
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
