she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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