I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
