Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
